Michael's Texas Embrace

Here is my finished computer. It's really bright! You could read by it or use it as a night light. It's pretty loud too, with all them fans. So with all the light and the noise it's a little like having a spaceship under the desk.

It's a little flashy, I know. But if you're gonna cruise, cruise in style, I say. Yo baby, what's up? You checkin' out my ride? Yeah, you know you are.

Now here we go. My cpu is on the motherboard and the motherboard is in the case. Look at all that complicated looking stuff I touched! Doing research before buying a computer I learned that all the cool computer nerds say "mobo" as short for motherboard. So I'm cool too. Mobo Go! Super Case Insertion Attack!

Look! Here's my AMD Athlon 64 processor gently covered with silver thermal material. the material is also on my finger. The thing to the right of my fingers is a cookbook. My hands are huge!

Long time no post. Anyway, I built a new computer! Here are all the parts before I put them together. For size reference I have included a copy of The Beach Boys' "Pet Sounds" on vinyl next to the stuff. what a technological contrast! I checked out the "build your own pc" book from Borders. Since I work there I can use it as a library. Take that, corporate America!

Before we continue, I need to take a poll.



Which level of Mega Man II has the best music?

Well, as of this morning I ordered all of the parts that I need (hopefully) to build my very own mid-range computer system capable of playing today's hottest games and running all the hottest new software! All these separate pieces will arrive, perhaps at the end of this week, and I will put them together. Just like that, they will work. Except that I've never put a computer together. I changed some RAM once, and an Ethernet card. I'm sure it will be easy! I shall post pictures of my computer as it comes to life via a little long-distance advice from Nick, my computer sensei, and all the pirated software that will run it, since there' s no way in heck I could just buy software after all the money I spent! Do you hear that, computer industry? That's why people pirate software! If computers cost like, 50 bucks, I would have paid for an operating system. It's outrageous, like there was this lady that wanted these biscuits, but they were hard, right? They were stale, and she had no teeth, so she needed soft biscuits that were full of milk, like, inside a little plastic reservoir within the biscuit, except that the plastic would degrade once inside the mouth, so the milk would be released and soften the biscuit so it was easier to chew, like an insta-biscuit shake.

Here is an artist's depiction of the 50-something year old lady that stole between four and five dollars from my tip jar yesterday. Lady! We're a big store! You're on camera all the time! I know who you are, and I'm not making your sugar free cafe freeze with chocolate any more! Go to hell!

The thing in her mouth is either a giant bleeding earthworm or a dripping probiscis. I imagine she could have either one in her mouth. Her body is, of course, an oozing pile of shit.

Oh people of America! Next time you think about stealing tips from somebody who can't afford to buy the expensive frozen coffee drink you buy every day, make sure you're not a regular to that establishment and are not on camera, or you can guarantee that you will be drinking saliva and feces in the future.