Michael's Texas Embrace

>
>
>To: Michael's Texas Embrace
>From: PoTammy_Tamson@lunchbox.com
>Subject: Moral implications of cruelty on God's Earth
>
>Hi Michael. Thanx for helping Timmy2Sweet* rock the block.
>But could you take it down a notch for this next track and learn
>us some life lessons n stuff? I am concerned with morality and
>cruelty. So do a song about the effects of that on some stuff that
>I can wrap my dome around downtown. Also, can you
>overproduce it with too much phasing FX? I roll with it that way.
>
>P.S. I like feeling sad about little animals.
>
>PoTammy
>


Kitten Jail


*(It was 2sweetTim, Potammy.--see last issue, ed.)

This is a bump. I am bumping the link for the song "Land of the Ponies" back to the top for ease of access. Lindsey, this is the song Rachel was singing. Click on this link and be terrified.

Land of the Ponies

>
>From: 2sweetTim
>To: Michael
>Subject: Re:
>
>
>Hey Michael, can you plz put up a crappy-crap-ass song thats bad
>so i dont want 2 listen? Make it obnoxious and bad 2 tha xtreme
>for my homes to play.
>
>brb lol, 2sweetTim
>
>

Shoe Shoo Shaw

Here is a chronicle of the visit of Andrew and James, as told by pictures. It was a violent visit. Many Beer were killed, and kung-fu was watched ("dragon Princess"--it rocked). Other casualties included pizza, hotwings, and the attack pot (trimpot, potentiometer, knob) of the Moog's VCA (voltage controlled amplifier). The little moog is in the shop now, but it needed to be callibrated, so that's cool, daddio.

Read these in order for chronological fun! Start with the "hello Moog, my enemy" post and go up. Chomp!

When it was time to go, Andrew and James shouldered their packs and climbed this cliff. They headed east, for rain and rivers, and thicker, greener forests. Late at night, their calls can still be heard in the distant hills as lanterns are hoisted and villagers turn and search the ridge. This night another child has reached the turning and will be fed to the wilderness. May their terrible cries be captured by sweet-looking microphones. Amen.

Andrew and James are gone, but their wicked tans will linger here forever.

While in the wilderness, we discovered ancient and mysterious markings on an ancient and mysterious rock wall and/or monolith. Does the skull forecast death for those who look upon it? Who was the Ragin' Cajun, and by what means did he/she come by that terrible rage? What significance does the past present hold? Is it a memorial for a gift that was lost or never recieved? Only extensive research and excavation will yield more clues.

If you would like to help fund this extremely important archeaological project, please send money so our team of scientists can buy supplies.

Or send the supplies themselves!

We need: a 1974 Gibson "Flying V" guitar and a stack amp made by either Marshall or Orange, to rock the artifacts out of the earth; a ring modulator (for spacey sound effects); tequila (and I mean A LOT, you know, for the dirt); probably some, um, brushes or shovels; a lot of microwave burritos and boxes of frozen taquitos; and a mummy. Thank you for your contributions.

At a certain point, we found ourselves on the set of an old episode of Star Trek (the original one.) WATCH OUT JAMES! THE BLUE MAN IN THE LOINCLOTH IS ABOUT TO THROW A ROCK AND/OR A BIG LOG AT YOU!! AND YOUR PHASER IS BROKEN!

Mountain Biking was Tough! James went Max Hardcore to the Extreme and went biking through the trees too. He would just power right through those scrubby pines. Look at that raw power. That majesty. That tree was a sucker and a half. Pshh.

Me and James decided to go mountain biking. We reached this desolate place, and remembered that Texas is freaking hot, like upper 90s. Mountain biking is hard. Just off camera, lizards are dying from heat stroke. Tis true.

This was supposed to be another sweet swimming hole thing, btw. Cha.

Breakfast: beer, coffee, two peanut butter sandwiches.

Mmmm.

Then lay around and watch Star Wars movies. Andrew had to do this to recharge from all the video gaming he did the day before. Then we went swimming. Ahhh.

Here is James getting ready to record some vocals. Pretty fancy-looking, eh? Bad music recording never looked so classy. All you need is a cool microphone and that little round wind screen, and you're styling even if Michael is making you record take after take of some line from the ducktales theme song, like some desperate bad music slave driver. "No! No, no! You sing the 'life is like a hurricane part,' I'll do the woo-oohs." Damn that Michael...

Then we got down to some serious, um, music making. Here James is obviously writing some deep lyrics about ponies, or perhaps mixing down the orchestral sections we recorded. (See, the little mixing board is next to him on the desk.) Man! I need to tidy up my shelf! My maraccas and comic books are on the floor.

As we splashed in the water with other people's dogs and the guy drinking beer out of the can that was in the paper bag, we looked longingly through the fence, where the people with money had paid for more space, deeper water, and comfy grass to rest on. James said it was like in Caddyshack. You know, that one part.

Andrew and James worked really hard on their wicked tans. See, the trick is to get a wicked burn on your radical pale skin first, and then the tan just rocks on out, like a wicked metal riff, um, except it's a tan.

Maggie is staring off toward the sky. Probably looking at a UFO... (like at the Kite Festival, which was held near the creek.)

...So we went to the creek BELOW the spring, and there was lots of cold water, and lame people. There's Andrew a-swimmin'. That water's 69 degrees! Ouch.

The net on the side was trying to catch Andrew, and he lept into the freezing water to evade capture. Years later, his frozen body is still missing.

It was really hot, in Texas. We decided to go swimming. But it turns out that when it's hot in Texas, and you can't really remember when it rained last, then your quiet swimming hole has probably done gone and dried up. Here you can see the moment of despair, when it was realized that swimming may not be possible. I am clutching the dry earth and crying, softly.

Andrew and James came to visit. Andrew wasted no time in getting acquainted with the Moog. Is that a square wave you're playing? It better be. Sheet.

James is flexing and getting pumped up just off camera. It's not just a cartoon; it's life.

Mwa ha ha. Michael got a Moog Prodigy. Oh man, did it take a lot of patient tip-saving to get this thing. Customers of Borders Cafe! I thank you for your money, for now I can make music that sounds like a video game, or terrible noises that will bother the neighbors. To those of you that never, ever tip me and are mean, fie on you. You can't play my synthesizer ever.

Made between probably around 1980 or 81, this crazy thing is pure analog. It's a little wonky right now. It pops out of tune a lot (who'd have thought you have to tune electronic things...) so I guess it needs cleaned on the inside, contacts and such, and perhaps the oscillators need recallibrating or something. But man does it sound cool anyways. See all the knobs on the top? Since it's old and not digital, it can't remember anything on its own. You have to find the sort of sound you want to make by twisting knobs and flipping switches. Since every knob and switch alters the sound, and there are so many of them, it makes a huge number of sounds. But if you find a good sound, you have to take a picture or write down what position all the knobs were in, or you may not find it again any time soon. But that also mean that you can twist the knobs while you play it to make crazy sounds. Oh, and since its old and analog, it only plays one note at a time. Rock. Now, to get it to tune...

A combination of knobs and switches that produces a good sound is called a "Patch." I don't know why, so lay off. Jerks. I got a manual for it from the internet and it had a bunch of patches pictured in it. For you beep-heads out there that crave strange, bloopy noises, I have recorded my test runs of those patches Whoa! Be preparde for old-school synth sounds in all their glory.

THE MOOG TESTS ARE GONE DUE TO SPACE.

Moog Tests 1

Moog Tests 2

Sometimes it sounds like more than one note is being played. This is because the synth has two oscillators to produce sound. They can be tuned independantly of each other, so pressing one key can produce two notes. but you cannot sound two keys at once. Also, the filter in the unit can be "Played" by constantly altering its cut-off frequency, and that sound can go over the others. That's the sound that sounds a bit like a theremin.

UPDATE: THIS SONG IS GONE DUE TO SPACE. REST ASSURED THAT IT WAS SUPER-COOL.

Since I still have nothing interesting to post, I shall post again a song some more. But the last couple of songs were silly. This one is merely stupid. (mwa ha ha--) Nice thing about having a couple of microphones and a mixer always set up to record, is you can shower instant time and attention on those random ideas that should be merely passing whims that are forgotten. But with instant recording access, I could be getting ready to run an errand, and suddenly think of two lines about science making it possible to eat tacos found on the sidewalk (is it impossible now? I don't know, I don't often find tacos on the sidewalk. But I dream everynight.) Two minutes later I've programmed a simple drum beat and I'm laying down a bassline. Before you know it--WHASHAM!--a song is born that might have been better off not being given the time it took to make. But that makes it better, doesn't it? And it sounds pretty good. Recording rocking sounds is harder than acoustic stuff, for sure. But this came out all right.

SO. Science and technology will revive street tacos. The natural vehicle for this harrowing tale is a burst of post-punk guitar pop, right? Oh, I am sorry.

My Taco Lives

Um, I posted the lyrics in the comments, if you want to sing along. Geez. Suckers.