Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Yes.
You find yourself in a clearing dominated by an ornate stone dais. The sounds of ogres marching in the distance can be heard.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Honda Fit Review.
My old car got smashed to bejesus so I got a new car. Now I have a car payment. I guess that was inevitable. We'll try to pay it off as fast as possible. Sadly, this cuts not only the beer budget, but the fast food budget and the musical equipment budget. Luckily I have amassed about as many instruments as I could possibly need, but my sound card is broken, so I can't record on my computer. I guess it's broken, anyway. My computer doesn't seem to recognize its existence...
Since my car was beloved and supposed to last for eternity, until the great car rapture when the car-trumpet in the sky is finally sounded and all the cars rise up from the earth and leave us for heaven, I had to find a car as close to mine as possible. Unfortunately, it turns out Honda hasn't made civic hatchbacks since 2000. And to go from a hatchback to a sedan! Never! You can't put two bicycles in the back of a sedan and feel good about it. Or a drumset and a bass guitar. So I got a brand-new Honda Fit:
It's little! Smaller than my old car, but somehow larger on the inside. Like Snoopy's doghouse or the Genie's lamp. Also, unlike my car, this one is red.
This is the dash. It looks more futuristic than my old car. It should, of course. It's eight years newer. Although, I think we can all agree that in 1999 we thought the year 2007 would be the real future. You know what I mean. There doesn't seem to be a "hover" or "fly" button anywhere.
The backseats flip up, so you could allow a small pony or a great dane to stand sideways behind you. Also, the backseats actually recline a little bit, so passengers in the back can get some shut-eye while you drive. Ungrateful bums. It's not like they offered to drive for awhile.
The backseats lay down flush with the cargo space, unlike my old car which had a bit of a hump. You could cram a lot of children back there! Depending on age and weight, I'd guess eight or nine children could be crammed in there.
The Honda Fit is the car of choice for transients. The front seats are designed to recline back flush with the backseat (which in turn recline a bit) creating a cushioned area long enought for someone my height to lay down in. If you plan on sleeping in one hatchback this year, I recommend the Fit.
How does it drive? A lot like my old Civic, really. It's a little "zippier." And since the front end is so short, it feels like it could turn very sharply, like a go-cart.
The end.
Since my car was beloved and supposed to last for eternity, until the great car rapture when the car-trumpet in the sky is finally sounded and all the cars rise up from the earth and leave us for heaven, I had to find a car as close to mine as possible. Unfortunately, it turns out Honda hasn't made civic hatchbacks since 2000. And to go from a hatchback to a sedan! Never! You can't put two bicycles in the back of a sedan and feel good about it. Or a drumset and a bass guitar. So I got a brand-new Honda Fit:
It's little! Smaller than my old car, but somehow larger on the inside. Like Snoopy's doghouse or the Genie's lamp. Also, unlike my car, this one is red.
This is the dash. It looks more futuristic than my old car. It should, of course. It's eight years newer. Although, I think we can all agree that in 1999 we thought the year 2007 would be the real future. You know what I mean. There doesn't seem to be a "hover" or "fly" button anywhere.
The backseats flip up, so you could allow a small pony or a great dane to stand sideways behind you. Also, the backseats actually recline a little bit, so passengers in the back can get some shut-eye while you drive. Ungrateful bums. It's not like they offered to drive for awhile.
The backseats lay down flush with the cargo space, unlike my old car which had a bit of a hump. You could cram a lot of children back there! Depending on age and weight, I'd guess eight or nine children could be crammed in there.
The Honda Fit is the car of choice for transients. The front seats are designed to recline back flush with the backseat (which in turn recline a bit) creating a cushioned area long enought for someone my height to lay down in. If you plan on sleeping in one hatchback this year, I recommend the Fit.
How does it drive? A lot like my old Civic, really. It's a little "zippier." And since the front end is so short, it feels like it could turn very sharply, like a go-cart.
The end.
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Bad Luck Super Extreme Explosion!
Dear Diary:
Yesterday I took off from work because I was sick. I went to the doctor in the morning. Then I went to Target and filled my prescription. Then I left Target to drive the 5 minutes back to my apartment. Then I was in an accident that pretty much destroyed my beloved car and landed it in an impound yard. Today we bought a new car. That is all for now.
p.s. I'm still sick. Soon I will post pictures of the new car.
p.p.s. I am okay. The only thing injured is the middle finger on my left hand. It is sore, but not broken. My neck is a little sore. Pretty good for being hit so hard your car spins 180 degrees around in the road! Other casualty: my glasses. I would say they got broke by the airbag, but they're gone. I mean, they disappeared completely. They were not in my car. I think they flew out the passenger side window when it exploded. Probably the fire department swept them up. I have new glasses now.
Yesterday I took off from work because I was sick. I went to the doctor in the morning. Then I went to Target and filled my prescription. Then I left Target to drive the 5 minutes back to my apartment. Then I was in an accident that pretty much destroyed my beloved car and landed it in an impound yard. Today we bought a new car. That is all for now.
p.s. I'm still sick. Soon I will post pictures of the new car.
p.p.s. I am okay. The only thing injured is the middle finger on my left hand. It is sore, but not broken. My neck is a little sore. Pretty good for being hit so hard your car spins 180 degrees around in the road! Other casualty: my glasses. I would say they got broke by the airbag, but they're gone. I mean, they disappeared completely. They were not in my car. I think they flew out the passenger side window when it exploded. Probably the fire department swept them up. I have new glasses now.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Also, I am a Giant Nose.
I'm still here! My computer is fixed, but now my soundcard is busted, so I can't record anything. One thing after another, I tell ya! Blogger still won't let me switch over to New Blogger, so I still can't post on Totally Vague Reviews or Totally Crappy Comics. I even have comics to put up there. Gosh, by the time I get switched over, my "It's 2007!" comic will be out of date!
Right now I'm sick with terrible allergies or a sinus infection or something. I place the blame squarely where it belongs: Texas. Damn you, Texas, and your horrific Cedar allergy seasons. I feel real bad, like I'm a giant walking stopped-up nose.
Of course, I'm not really a giant stopped-up nose. People would be running away from me. I'm really just a guy who sounds real stuffy, coughs every now and then, and has blood-shot eyes.
Right now I'm sick with terrible allergies or a sinus infection or something. I place the blame squarely where it belongs: Texas. Damn you, Texas, and your horrific Cedar allergy seasons. I feel real bad, like I'm a giant walking stopped-up nose.
Of course, I'm not really a giant stopped-up nose. People would be running away from me. I'm really just a guy who sounds real stuffy, coughs every now and then, and has blood-shot eyes.
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