Michael's Texas Embrace

Well, as of this morning I ordered all of the parts that I need (hopefully) to build my very own mid-range computer system capable of playing today's hottest games and running all the hottest new software! All these separate pieces will arrive, perhaps at the end of this week, and I will put them together. Just like that, they will work. Except that I've never put a computer together. I changed some RAM once, and an Ethernet card. I'm sure it will be easy! I shall post pictures of my computer as it comes to life via a little long-distance advice from Nick, my computer sensei, and all the pirated software that will run it, since there' s no way in heck I could just buy software after all the money I spent! Do you hear that, computer industry? That's why people pirate software! If computers cost like, 50 bucks, I would have paid for an operating system. It's outrageous, like there was this lady that wanted these biscuits, but they were hard, right? They were stale, and she had no teeth, so she needed soft biscuits that were full of milk, like, inside a little plastic reservoir within the biscuit, except that the plastic would degrade once inside the mouth, so the milk would be released and soften the biscuit so it was easier to chew, like an insta-biscuit shake.