Michael's Texas Embrace

As a Manly Man, I often take an occasional stroll into the woods to reconnect with the ancient hunter roots of the species. I do so in the way the Ancient Ones did--completely naked except for footwear (I have sensitive feet.) In the winter it is no problem. You are cold, but the brush and leaves are at a minimum, and you walk unfettered through the forest, fingers lightly outstretched to prevent bare branches from poking your genitalia.

But today I entered the forest (naked except for hiking shoes and crew socks with a blue stripe) and the leaves had begun to return, and I kept walking through spider webs. So I picked up a stick to keep the spider webs at bay and felt even closer to primitive man. They must have traveled the same way, in comfortable footwear, a stick bobbing in front of them to clear the path of arachnids.