Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Behold: The Piano Horn
Sunday we traveled around, had lunch with Neal Chawla, and then proceeded to buy toys for ourselves. We went to Terra Toys so Maggie could buy origami paper. There, in the toy instrument section, for six dollars, was this finely crafted plastic beauty:
"Behold: It is the Piano Horn come before you."
I know, you can't believe it either. I took it out of the box and all it took was one richly expressive note. I knew: this was worth six dollars for sure.
So what is it? The box says it is "two instruments in one." This is misleading. It is definitely only one instrument. You blow into it and press keys down. It sounds a little like a harmonica, but it's easier to play. The notes start at G, but it's the C scale. So it's like the white keys on the piano, for not quite a two octave range. It's like a cheap melodica! This thing can really blow and stun the ladies.
"The Piano Horn is refined, and often wants for a pipe."
I know, you can't believe it either. I took it out of the box and all it took was one richly expressive note. I knew: this was worth six dollars for sure.
So what is it? The box says it is "two instruments in one." This is misleading. It is definitely only one instrument. You blow into it and press keys down. It sounds a little like a harmonica, but it's easier to play. The notes start at G, but it's the C scale. So it's like the white keys on the piano, for not quite a two octave range. It's like a cheap melodica! This thing can really blow and stun the ladies.
"The Piano Horn is refined, and often wants for a pipe."
It's not limited to one note, either. The Piano Horn is a versatile instrument, for sure. Why is it only six dollars? Why is such a powerful tool of music creation hidden away on the top shelf of the instrument section at Terra Toys? I was about to buy a jaw harp with a picture of Snoopy on the box before I noticed this! Why don't we all have Piano Horns? Surely some company could make an electric one with a low-pass filter and built-in delay. Also, it could use a spit valve, like other fine instruments.
How big is it? It's BIG. It's bigger than my toy glockenspiel AND my tinwhistle. It's louder, too.
How big is it? It's BIG. It's bigger than my toy glockenspiel AND my tinwhistle. It's louder, too.
The Piano Horn: It's way big. Bigger than me.
But what does it sound like in a bad musical composition with other toys? To find out, my team and I worked day and night, determining that the piano horn was a little flat as far as tuning went, but would still sound OK in a mix. We also determined, through rigorous testing, that many toy instruments are, shockingly, not perfectly tuned! It's something we have to work with. We tracked two Piano Horns and added some stereo toy glockenspiel. To fill out some sound we threw in a finely crafted toy accordion on gracious loan from Miss Julie. Drums were added and some synth bass (there you may notice some of the other instruments "flatness").
This is what we came up with, through the scientific method.
Piano Horn and Friends
Due to the nature of the Piano Horn, this tune can't help but sound distinguished and expressive. Its notes soar, like lofty birds from some elegant dimension not quite our own--birds on an unfathomable, ephemeral trek, full of magic and light, yet tinged with a wan sense that endings are soon to be and no flight, however majestic, is forever.
Still, go out and find your own piano horn. Perhaps, some day, many people with piano horns will meet, and an orchestra of aching brilliance will be formed. This is our hope! All together now--
This is what we came up with, through the scientific method.
Piano Horn and Friends
Due to the nature of the Piano Horn, this tune can't help but sound distinguished and expressive. Its notes soar, like lofty birds from some elegant dimension not quite our own--birds on an unfathomable, ephemeral trek, full of magic and light, yet tinged with a wan sense that endings are soon to be and no flight, however majestic, is forever.
Still, go out and find your own piano horn. Perhaps, some day, many people with piano horns will meet, and an orchestra of aching brilliance will be formed. This is our hope! All together now--
# posted by Michael : 11:55 AM
Comments:
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I am not a crying man. However, I have just been moved to tears.
Your final compilation has some of the spirit of Sufjan Stevens... perhaps he knows about the magic of the Piano Horn?
Your final compilation has some of the spirit of Sufjan Stevens... perhaps he knows about the magic of the Piano Horn?
Do not cry, let the Piano Horn cry for you.
Invoking the name of Sufjan is too high of praise for my one minute Piano Horn composition, I think. Nevertheless, bless you, you beautiful man, you.
Invoking the name of Sufjan is too high of praise for my one minute Piano Horn composition, I think. Nevertheless, bless you, you beautiful man, you.
Man that fine musical tool sounds as fine as morning wood. I think the piano horn and should be played while holding morning wood... grasping it firmly in both hands and shareing the specialness of piano horn and morning wood.....
MICHAEL!!! I will say I was a little cautious when I first decided to listen to the piano horn arrangement. But.... it was etheric! heavenly! it rang of your celtic roots! It truly moooovvved your moma!
# posted by 
: 7:07 PM
: 7:07 PM
i haven't commented yet? anyway, i agree with murf, when i first heard the last bit i was thinking sufjan stevens too.
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