Michael's Texas Embrace

And here's is the next day's work...

I nodded. “You have something particular in mind?”

Lou put his thick hands behind his back and paced my office a few times and wrung the air between his fingers. “Either something artsy or something informative.”

“Artsy or informative,” I repeated.

“Do not chew on those words, bud. Turn them into something.”

I opened my mouth but Lou waved his hand and continued. “Like old people. Gross, shriveled. They’re gasping for air, flopping around like fish on a dock. Maybe they’re covered in something slick and shiny like oil or Vaseline. Okay. There is a woman. Beautiful, black hair. Completely blank looking. Like she has no emotions. She watches these gasping, flopping old people, and then she stoops and holds out her hand. This is when we see a close-up of a drop of water dripping from her fingers and falling into the shriveled lips of one of the old people.” Lou stops and stares at me.

I cleared my throat. “That’s pretty edgy, Lou.”

He furrowed his brow. “You think perhaps it is too edgy.” It wasn’t a question.

Leaning back in my chair, I tapped my little notepad with my pen. It’s an antique fountain pen, and it is exceptionally nice and very fancy looking. I tap it whenever I want to pretend like I am thinking. “It might be, Lou.”

Lou nodded once, soberly. He had been trying to sober up.

Notebook. Pen. Tap, tap.

“Maybe something comforting.” Lou resumed his pacing. “Reassuring. People are reassured by facts. Maybe something explaining our refined, very humane process. Shots of clean rooms lit by fluorescents. Comfortable beds with flowers on the bedside tables. That sort of thing.”

“I think I can come up with something,” I said.

“Good. So. Okay. Spitball some ideas. Maybe come up with a few pitches. Type them up and shoot me the electrons when you’re done. Do not kill old people in this commercial. Do not do anything that will cause me to listen to endless grief from my mother. I am very very serious in this respect, and I vow to you to reject outright any idea, no matter how good, that I think travels that dangerous avenue.”

I nodded and tapped.

********

In 2010 the United States Government passed the Steinway Humane Euthanasia Retroactive Protection Act (SHERPA), effectively legalizing euthanasia for terminal patients. The law naturally required anyone offering services under the SHERPA act be licensed, bonded, and certified in humane euthanasia practices. This immediately created a cottage industry. Overnight large corporations created and branded euthanasia divisions, installing CEOs whose bonuses are based on kill rates.

Killers Who Care (KWC) Incorporated is a wholly-owned subsidiary of Gerber. I work in the marketing department, specifically focused on television ads. Matilda Hock handles print and radio ads are outsourced to Turkey. Their accents are terrible and no one can understand them, which is just as well because a.) no one listens to the radio anymore, and b.) the commercials are generally filled with chainsaw sounds and people screaming. I cannot tell if the Turkish department thinks that is funny or if they genuinely imagine that KWC slaughters the elderly with chainsaws. Either way, few people can even tell the radio spots are KWC commercials.

# posted by Michael : 7:40 AM